Imagine spending years, sometimes decades, feeling like something about you doesn’t quite fit. For many neurodiverse women, this is their reality. They have often been told that they are too sensitive, scattered, awkward, or intense. Many grow up feeling different but are unsure why, navigating a world that isn’t designed for their way of thinking. Instead of receiving support, they are mislabelled, misdiagnosed, and misunderstood by a system that has been slow to acknowledge that neurodiversity can present differently in women than in men.
How Neurodiverse Women Slip Through the Diagnostic Cracks
Understanding misdiagnosis in neurodiverse women requires unpacking how society and medicine have historically overlooked women’s experiences, especially in mental and neurological health. While men are more frequently diagnosed with autism, ADHD, and dyslexia, studies suggest that these conditions may be just as common in women. So why the disparity?
A major factor is that autism and ADHD were first identified based on male behaviours and traits, creating diagnostic tools that did not fully account for the ways neurodivergence often presents in women. One of the most distinctive ways neurodiverse women differ from their male counterparts is in the skill they often develop to 'mask' or camouflage their traits. Girls are socialised from a young age to be cooperative, attentive, and socially aware. They are often encouraged to conform to social expectations, even when these behaviours require significant effort. This masking can include mimicking social cues, forcing themselves to make eye contact, or scripting conversations to fit in, all while managing the cognitive and emotional strain of performing.
While masking can help neurodiverse women navigate social situations, it can also make it harder for professionals to recognise their neurodivergence. Take autism as an example: autistic girls often excel at what researchers call 'social imitation'. They carefully observe and mimic others, even if they do not naturally understand or feel comfortable with social dynamics. Clinicians may perceive these girls as socially competent, overlooking their underlying challenges. For this reason, autism in women is frequently misinterpreted as anxiety, depression, or other mental health differences leading to incomplete or incorrect diagnoses.
Similarly, ADHD in girls is less likely to show up as hyperactivity and impulsiveness, which are traits more commonly identified in boys. Instead, ADHD in women is often marked by inattentiveness, daydreaming, or challenges with executive function. A girl with ADHD might sit quietly in the back of the class, appearing 'spacey' rather than disruptive, and may be labelled as disorganised or lazy. For years, this masking skill keeps her from being identified as neurodivergent, and as an adult she might be described as forgetful, overwhelmed, or disorganised; traits that many clinicians and loved ones misinterpret as character flaws rather than signs of ADHD.
In recent years, there has been a significant increase in the diagnosis of autism and ADHD amongst women. Greater awareness, more inclusive diagnostic criteria and the amplification of lived experiences through advocacy and social media have contributed to more women recognising their neurodivergence. Studies show that adult women are now being diagnosed at much higher rates than in the past, with some estimates suggesting a 315% increase in autism diagnoses among women in the last decade. This surge reflects a long-overdue shift in understanding, but it also highlights the years many women have spent navigating life without recognition or support. The growing number of adult diagnoses underscores the need to continue refining assessment tools and challenging outdated stereotypes that have historically kept women from accessing accurate diagnoses.
Misdiagnosis does not just mean a woman is labelled with a condition she may not have; it also means she may miss out on the support and accommodations that would allow her to thrive. While many neurodiverse women do experience anxiety and depression, these conditions are often exacerbated by navigating an environment that does not recognise or support their needs. Without accommodations for sensory sensitivities or executive function differences, for example, neurodivergent women may feel as though they are constantly struggling to meet expectations designed for neurotypical people.
The Impact of Misdiagnosis on Mental Health and Identity
The consequences of misdiagnosis extend beyond medical treatment; they influence how neurodiverse women see themselves. When someone spends years feeling misunderstood or mislabelled, they may internalise feelings of self-doubt and shame.
Many neurodiverse women describe feeling 'constantly exhausted' or experiencing 'autistic burnout'. This type of exhaustion is not simply about needing rest; it reflects the cumulative mental, emotional, and physical strain of masking and navigating environments that do not accommodate their needs. Without an accurate diagnosis, women may feel as though they are constantly pushing through cycles of burnout, blaming themselves rather than recognising the structural barriers that make everyday life more demanding.
Being repeatedly told that they are 'too much', 'not enough', or 'overly sensitive' can erode self-esteem. Many neurodiverse women grow up believing there is something inherently wrong with them, leading to lifelong struggles with self-worth. A correct diagnosis can be transformative, offering a framework for self-understanding and connection to a community of individuals with similar experiences. However, without this recognition many women continue to feel isolated and unseen.
Rethinking Neurodiversity: How We Can Do Better
To ensure neurodiverse women receive the understanding and support they deserve, we need a fundamental shift in how neurodiversity is recognised and diagnosed.
More research is needed on how neurodivergence manifests in women. This means funding studies that focus specifically on women’s experiences and ensuring clinicians receive training on the diverse presentations of autism, ADHD, and dyslexia. Gender-sensitive diagnostic criteria and updated assessment tools are essential to bridging the diagnostic gap.
Workplace neurodiversity initiatives are also key. Many companies are beginning to offer accommodations for sensory sensitivities and flexible work arrangements, creating environments where neurodiverse individuals can thrive. Continuing to advocate for these changes will ensure that neurodivergence is not just recognised but valued.
As a neurodiverse woman experiencing bias and stereotypes, it is important to remember that you are not alone. There is a huge community of women online who advocate for research, awareness and most importantly, each other. Some of the amazing women we recommend include, Ellie Middleton, Lou Chandler and Rory from ADHD Love, to name a few!
If you're a women who considering exploring a diagnosis, here at RTN Diagnostics we can offer support and a wealth of experience; please get in touch with us and we can help you to begin your journey to understanding yourself.
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